Friday.

Ah, beautiful weekend ahead.
For once, I'm not entirely bogged down by babysitting plans.
I actually have some unscheduled time ahead of me this weekend, and I'm positively giddy about it.

After a miserable yesterday, I woke this morning feeling entirely refreshed. I was literally up and cleaning my house at 7:30 am.
It's looking a little better.
Mike and I need to be better about keeping up with things like the kitchen. It's gross. I rarely eat at home, and so I push it all off on him. But the pile of dishes keeps growing, and it's really grossing me out.

I am the designated bathroom cleaner. Maybe it's all the babysitting, or the years spent making faces while mopping Dairy Queen, but I am not scared of bathrooms.
Hair from the drain? 99% chance it belongs to me, so I'm not scared. Toilet cleaning? Meh, it's just bleach.
That stuff I can do.
(And I do regularly.)

I even had a load of laundry and some clothes hung up before 9 am.

Carlos was running around chasing his toy mice. I can't tell if I love him most when we are just waking up and he is laying on me and yawning, or if he's sliding on the wood floors chasing something. He's definitely got something very seriously dignified about him, but he's also childish, when he's stretched out lengthwise with a mouse between his paws, having just somersaulted into a wall. (God, I love him. I'll never let anyone take him from me.)

It was all very cute.

We are expecting canine company this evening. I'm terrified. I adore Ely's golden Archie, but I'm also not so sure how I feel about forcing Carlos to have to adapt to a dog.
Given that Carlos is so wonderful at adapting to strange situations, I'm hoping that once they realize it's probably going to keep happening, both animals will relax around each other. Archie is curious about Carlos, and even more curious about his food. (Apparently wet food is like crack for all animals.)

Based on how Carlos reacts when he sees any dog, I'm assuming he was attacked by one or more during his Chicago years. And so I understand his fear of Archie, but I wish it wasn't so bad. While I'm assuming he'll just run and hide, I'm also worried about a confrontation happening. Carlos can be very nasty when provoked. And I'm not sure Archie would be prepared for that.

Alas, we have to get to the Rockies game first. I'm not going home after work; I'll meet Emily at the DU light rail station at we will head down from there.
And then after the game? God only knows how we're going to get my car home.
And get the dog home.

It shall be an adventure. I'm not sure if I should start stressing now, or just wait until it's happening and roll with it.

I'll wait.
In all honesty, trying to balance Emily's needs with Ely's is going to be a hot mess.
This might get interesting.

And Madeline is in town tonight. And she'll be out after. So I'm just going to give the rest of them my keys and go dance. (just kidding. or am I?)

Happy Friday!

Juice.

It went well.
Of course it did, I was foolish to think it wouldn't.

I slept badly last night. Tortured by dreams that I couldn't escape from, I woke to find myself in an uneasy melancholy. Apparently, I was talking in my sleep all night. I'm upset by something, I know what, and I don't know how to let it go except to give it time.
Time. Screw time and feelings. I hate not knowing what other people are thinking. I hate wishing I could have something I can't. I hate that I had it for just a second before life got in the way.

I drove downtown this morning to make sure that Emily got to her law school open house alright and realized how much this city has meant to me. In a strange way, I belong in Chicago. I've never loved Loyola, but I've loved Chicago. I have a fascination with the train. I still love the train. There's something so raw and unguarded about it, something so connected and yet so fragile and broken. You are forced to sit around people you don't like, forced to interact, or merely to react to the those around you. It's beautiful. It's dirty. It smells. It's so satisfying and so stressfully slow. I love to sit with a book, lost for half an hour until I feel the train start to descend past Fullerton, the slide into the tunnel. Then the darkness comes and the rattling is somehow magnified by the proxomity of the walls.


But what is home? Everyone's moving back and forth and here and there, and I've realized that as much as I'd like to stay here, for awhile, I can't. I want to be in Colorado, to start my life there. Even though the city begs me to stay, I'm afraid if I do, I'll never leave. I can't fathom the idea of trying to raise children in a city like Chicago, and although it would be a wonderful place to get my social work grounding, I'd prefer to start my career somewhere comfortable.

Blegh, another blog with no purpose, only rambling. Perhaps the morning can bring a sweeter sleep?