Wednesday, June 25, 2008

The final leg.....

For every high, there is an equal yet completely opposite low.
I cried from Kansas City westward for a good hour, letting tears spill down my face with my windows rolled up. I sped past the trucks, other vehicles no doubt wondering what was happening inside that speeding steel box.
We left in good spirits, hugs all around, our belongings packed safely in the trunk. The weekend, which had begun with such a passion, although angry, had ended so well, smiles and my own feeling of contentment at spending a weekend curled in that space with the people I never thought I'd love the way I do.
We sat in St. Louis, sipping on white wine and watching the movie that Emily starred in last year, "American Gothic," I got a text message. One of our friends was hospitalized for the reasons that no person should ever put on themselves. My addled mind failed to wrap around it, until the next day. Things have settled down now, but there is still some sort of unease in the air. I can't explain it, don't want to. But I never thought that this sort of thing would be something I would ever have to face. It's not real, I kept telling myself, this isn't happening. But it was. It did.
The drive home was beautiful.
Exactly 866 miles in exactly 12.5 hours. Three stops. Rain at the beginning and at the end. I turned the music up and rolled the windows down. I wasn't exactly excited to come home, or to leave St. Louis, or even Chicago, but it was finally nice to get home and raid the fridge.
I'm garbled right now. My life is once again on the cusp of something new and different, and I can't even wait for junior year to begin.
Emily and I can't wait to start our new lives together.
Let the highs and lows (hopefully few) begin.

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