Moody, but what's new?

drink up, baby down
mmm, are you in or are you out
leave your things behind
'cause it's all going off without you
excuse me, too busy you're writing your tragedy
these mishaps
you bubble wrap
when you've no idea what you're like

so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so let go, just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

it gains the more it gives
and then it rises with the fall
so hand me that remote
can't you see that all that stuff's a sideshow

such boundless pleasure
we've no time for later now
you can't await your own arrival
you've 20 seconds to comply

so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so let go, just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
-Frou Frou


(Those lyrics are on one of the greatest soundtracks ever: The Garden State soundtrack. In high school, during those oh-so-emotionally-tenuous years, I'd put on a hot bath and sit there with my portable CD player [and then later, my iPod] and just let the songs take me away. That sounds incredibly cliche, I know, but what was my adolescence but one huge cliche really? That's not true, but you understand.)

I'm sure you've heard the good news by now: pre-cancer free! I'm thrilled to death. Not quite to death, but close enough.

Stress, as usual. Skipped Spanish today to sleep. Haven't missed it yet and it's well past Fall Break. Consider that a small success.

Hunter and I have been together a year today. I still remember cropping Ian out of a picture so that I could post it here. It's a picture of him kissing my cheek long before he'd ever put the thought of us together. We are escaping for a weekend away in Northern Wisconsin, leaving tomorrow at noon. I wish I could say I'll post pictures, but I'll take them, I promise.

I got the book I've been waiting for today! It came in the mail (I couldn't wait for it come out in hardcover but wouldn't dream of spending $30 on it, so I ordered it off of half.com). It's called "The Angel's Game" and it's by the same author who wrote "the Shadow of the Wind," Carlos Ruiz Zafon. If you need anything to read ever, read that book. It brought my love of language back.

Anyway, off to bondage night at the Club. Want so desperately to post pictures.

Feeling much better healthwise. I've decided to cut as much sodium as possible (problematic as I love salt) and up the fiber. So lots of vegetables. But that's not been horrible. Squash tonight. It's in the oven right now.

I have decided that when I have the money, I'm going to get a MacBook Pro. It's the same computer that Mike has, and I think it'll serve me well. More on that later, though. I would like to contain my excitement as the purchase is a long way off. I'm just frustrated because I feel so set back. I was planning on spending my graduation money (let's not lie, graduation is the perfect time for gifts. not in a greedy way, but reality) on my summer in Europe, but right now, it seems like that's not even in the cards anymore. I'm devastated, but I understand that life has a way of trying to tell you things. So I need to focus on next year and perhaps a summer in South America instead of Rome.
Hunter promised me that if we ever get married, he'll take me to Rome. (don't tell him I told you that.)